(Originally published in Buffalo News NeXt in January 2018)
Anna Lin
NeXt Correspondent
In America, the idea of being a teenager and pregnant is not very widely accepted. People turn their backs on these young parents, talking of how they are incapable of achieving success, as if having a child has suddenly handicapped them.
Theresa Thomas is of the many teen parents that came out of Zafron Home. But most importantly, she was of the many teen parents who proved these people wrong, and that teen parents were in fact capable of whatever they chose to do.
She is now a successful business entrepreneur. She runs the business “Once Upon a Sleepover” which helps organize and run specular and unique sleepovers, and also bakes creative and delicate cakes.
But how did she grow into her success? It was part willpower, part determination but also part traits learned from Zafron Home.
Zafron Home is a home for pregnant and parenting teenagers. It’s a place that takes in young parents or soon-to-be young parents who can be as young as 14, and gives them a place to sleep, an education, advice and encouragement to be great. It teaches them how to take care of their children, how to raise them, but also how to raise and develop themselves. As a result, fine parents have graduated from Zafron Home.
Teen parents demonstrate commitment immediately when they decide to keep their baby and raise him/her as their own. Zafron Home doesn’t make the choice of what happens to the baby, but instead teaches the teens who have already made the choice themselves (and the choice of keeping the baby) how to raise it. Through this comes very valuable lessons, however.
For instance, the second Theresa Thomas arrived at Zafron Home, she “...hated it. It was far, it was in the country, there was nothing around.” As a young girl who had to stay in a home separate from her own, it was only natural to not like Zafron Home at first. Zafron Home provides a home for about 3-4 teen parents and their child. And with the infants’ irregular sleep schedule and shushing and cooing of staff and parents, there was noise. Being a teen parent meant having to skip over some sleep to wake up and nurture their child. Sometimes, staff will help out but the parents also learn the skills of being patient and level-minded. The home also sends the parents to a nearby school so that they can continue their education - on school nights, staff would sometimes help nurture the baby. But going through even hearing the wails and sounds of a young child everyday can be very endearing. Yet these parents adapt and learn to situate themselves better so that the environment would work better for them. Later Mrs. Thomas says, “...It had some good points, I just didn’t see it at first.”
Zafron Home also gives the parents structure. Everyday there is a schedule, and a chore sheet and an amount of time to get things done. For an example, there is homework time and there is nurturing time, when some of the children bond and play with their parents as well as the other children. Everyone gets their turn cooking for the rest and doing simple chores around the house. This raises the parent in the teen parent and accustoms them slowly to the lifestyle of living by themselves, and raising a child at the same time.
Mrs. Kathy DiLallo, director of Zafron Home gave me some information on how Zafron Home is run. She was one of the original people who came to the building and made it a home. She tells the girls who are discharged that just because they’re discharged doesn’t mean that they can’t keep in contact. If they ever need help with running the house, or advice and etc. that Zafron Home was their home and still is, just as the staff members are almost like their surrogate family members as well. She basically means that even away from Zafron Home, they will still continue to be supportive and helpful, which provides a firm base to their masterpiece. “We’re always there for them no matter what,” she says firmly.
A teen parent’s schedule is rather busy for a weekday. She wakes up at about 5-5:30am and gets ready. She will then tend to her baby, like change his/her diapers, feed them, and the like. They get to the bus at around 7:00am. Before school, they have to fill out a care sheet, which is basically a sheet that tells the staff when the baby was last changed and other things concerning the care of the baby. The staff already mostly knows, but this helps get the girls in the habit of doing care sheets for daycares. The school day is long but their day is still even longer. The moment they come back from school, they go and care for their baby. They find the care sheet and based on that, figure out whether to change the baby or leave the diaper where it is.
Zafron home also offers a very good education for the girls. Not only do they have school but a tutor comes in about three to four times a week and help the girls with any issues they had in school (work-wise).
They all sit down together for dinner. After dinners there’s chores, and after that is time to study. By 9:00 they get ready for lights out (this sometimes differs as it also is based on the mood of the baby). They also do a lot of community activities that help them blossom as a family.
This whole schedule helped bring structure to Zafron Home - one of the main things Mrs. Thomas appreciates most. The overall teaching of Zafron Home brought about ideal traits for a woman of substance, but the friendships are what made it all count. Mrs. Thomas mentions (as her final statements) that the staff made the difference. The staff were friendly and helped out with the babies, and most importantly were happy to make the girls happy and at home at Zafron Home. She still keeps in contact with some of the staff to this day.
The atmosphere you grow up in strongly defines the person you become. Zafron Home taught teen parents that they were capable, and taught them valuable life lessons as well. They polished the diamonds and helped them thrive, Theresa Thomas being of remarkable bunch.
Before we hung up, Mrs. Kathy DiLallo said that she, “...truly believe[d] we make a change.” And needless to say, I truly believe they do.